I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but the world doesn’t apologize. The people who hold and seek power in this world blame other people or their circumstances for their mistakes. Unless they get cornered and have no other option, they will always find a scapegoat to take the blame for them.

Because of this, apologizing well is probably the best opportunity we have to show the love of Christ on a day-to-day basis. It’s not often that we hear people take responsibility for their actions. Christians are able to step into that void and do the one thing we can do to help to heal wounds and relieve pain: we can say “I’m sorry”.

We all make mistakes. When we do, it is our responsibility to apologize for them

With this incredible opportunity, there is always a strong temptation to yield to pride… and few things reek of pride like a crappy apology.

A crappy apology is one in which we divert blame from ourselves. We say things like “I’m sorry, but…” or “I’ve had a really rough week” or “There is only so much I can take”. A crappy apology is just an ineffective as not apologizing at all because when we apologize poorly we are not actually accepting the blame… which is the whole point of apologizing in the first place.

If you aren’t accepting full blame you aren’t apologizing.

So, what does a real apology look like?

– A lot of silence… we let the other person talk and tell us how they feel, regardless of how much we disagree with them. We let the other person say whatever they want to say, even if it hurts our feelings or our pride.

– Accepting full responsibility… Don’t say “I’m sorry, but…” Don’t tell the person about how their actions may have led you to make the bad decision that you made. Don’t blame your circumstances. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t slept well this week or that work has been stressful. Just apologize.

– Making the person you hurt feel love and respect… After you take responsibility it is then your job to do your best to make that person feel respected. If you have hurt them, they have a wound. Heal it the best you can with your words.

– Patience… Sometimes the person you hurt will need a little bit of time to get over it. They will forgive you when they are ready to. Don’t re-ignite your anger because they needed a few days to think it over and settle their feelings.

Jesus took his love and devotion for us to the cross. We should be able to humble ourselves enough to deliver a solid apology.